A Thousand Miles Apart - I was really impressed by this band’s debut album “Home Sweet Misery”.  A solid, solid debut.  Everything about this fake band and record are well done.  Misery loves company, so become a fan and buy their album!

Coyote McGee - The first fake comedian and fake comedy album to be added to Figment is pure perfection!  Had me laughing from minute 1 and it’s all fake – now that’s a comic!  His first comedy album, “Lafftermath”, is a definite buy!

Avenging Angels on High - There are a lot of metal bands on Figment.  In fact, it’s one of the most popular musical genres on the site.  Unfortunately, volume does not always equate with quality, and many of the bands are not that well developed.  And then there’s Avenging Angels on High or AAH as I like to refer to them.  Their debut album “Elements of Power” is a tour de force.  Great artwork, great song titles, the whole package.  So do yourself a favor, buy the album and let AAH show you how it’s done.

Body Harvest - A close second to AAH is Body Harvest.  Again, strong band description, great artwork and good song titles.  Their debut album “The Apocolypse” gets slight points off for the incorrect spelling in the title.  Spell check people.  Spell check.

Sons of Carpathia - A close third in the metal sweepstakes is Sons of Carpathia’s and their debut “Death Before Enslave”.  This band has one of the craziest back stories I’ve ever read.  Great stuff.  They also have some of the best band news on the site – so check em’ out.

Fait Accompli - This goth rock band has not only a great name, but is also a text book example of how to create a fake band.  From their well written band description to their 2 releases, “Gentleman’s Agreement” and the remix EP “Medusa Kiss”, this is a band to study.  I’d also like to say that their creator, overground, is a reviewer par excellence.   My only criticism is that for some reason I see this band as more of a garage rock/indie rock band than a goth rock act, but that’s just my two cents and god knows it’s probably not even worth that.

Crotch Rocket - Rod Johnson and the boys have delivered another broadside to his brother’s band Pincher Nipple with their new album “Thruster”.   We don’t think this album is anywhere near as good as their debut, but it’s fun to check out the war of words going on between the two bands on each of their band pages.  I love a good sibling rivalry and this one is a barnburner.

Replay - This punk band from Sykesville, MD is quite good.  Their debut album “Pause” is worth a buy!  But again, to us, this band looks more electronic than punk.  Dig the crazy artwork in the band description on their band page.

Automaton Transfusion - Another well designed band.  I like the Rob Zombiesque album cover for their initial release “Underglorified” and the fact that they’ve laid the groundwork for a deep back story, but have yet to completely tip their hat.  Nicely done.

White Buffalo - This band truly hit the road in 2005 when Hurricane Katrina slammed into their hometown of New Orleans.  Forced to hole up in an auto shop in Baton Rouge, this group of musicians formed not only a bond but also a  band, and their debut album “Parish Priests and Pirates” celebrates their return to the road not as refugees, but as troubadors.  I love their album cover and although the song titles need a little help I like the overall vibe of this fake band.  Buy it!

The Peeyaws - From the band description to the song titles on their first LP “Dead Sexy”, the Peeyaws exude a kind of smart ass punk charm that well I dig.  They seem to have a sense of humor about themselves and yet don’t take them too lightly or they’ll snarl at ya!  Plus the name of their producer KellyButterTowel is classic!  Buy it. 

Black and Pink Checkers – I’m always a sucker for a good pop band and although the Black & Pink Checkers claim to be an emo punk band, for my money their still a pop band.  Okay, so the happy shiny pop punk thing is a bit cloying, but you know what, their youthful exuberance overweighs that and the song titles on their debut album “Pretty in Punk” are so perfectly in tune with their esthetic that I can’t help but like them.  So put aside the daily grind and appease your inner teenager by buying and listening to their album.  You’ll be happy you did.

Dark Lems - Creepiest band photo…EVAH!

Pool of Users - We don’t often promote the creations of our own staff, but Pool of User’s new release “Positively Negative” is worth a view as is Pusher’s new album “To The Limit”.  Both were created by our very own Rikki.

And then there are the bands whose names we just plain love:

Crazy Awesome Dudes

Forever Ends Today

Critical Purpose

Napalm Blitz

Oliver Klosoff

Satan’s Shitkickers

The Art of Misfortune

Well that’s it for this week.  We hope you’ll take a look at all the bands above and let them know what you think by becoming a fan, buying their album(s), giving them a listen and writing a review.  See ya next week!

Disgruntled Exercism - Okay, so this band can’t spell, hey there’s lots of bands that can’t.  Staind anyone? Maybe it’s an inside joke?  Guess we won’t know until they get around to releasing their debut.  We can’t wayt!

Crotch Rocket – We love how Chilidog continues to build his roster of bands.  Not only has he been the first Figment user to create a solo project from one of his bands (Chad Masters), but he has now launched the first sibling band on Figment in Crotch Rocket.  Rod Johnson, the kid brother of Pincher Nipple lead singer Johnson (yes, he’s one of the one name gang), has just formed this new band.  They’ve yet to release a debut album, but have thrown down the gauntlet to Pincher Nipple claiming they can’t compete with Crotch Rocket.  Do I sense a sibling battle to rival the Robinson, Gallagher or Davies clans?  Since their in separate bands we probably won’t see any on stage fistfights like we seen with the latter names, but something tells me that with names like Rod Johnson and Crotch Rocket involved were going to see someone get their dick knocked in the dirt!

Pincher Nipple – Speaking of Pincher Nipple (isn’t that the beginning to a bad joke?), they just released their latest aptly named album, “Poker in the Front, Liquor in the Rear”.   Aah, subtlety is their middle name.

The Bi Accidents – Just released a new EP called “We Lost”.  We recommend it if only for the cover of Paula Abdul’s “Straight Up”.

So what are you waiting for, your check from President Bush?  Forget that the economy is slowing, buying an album on Figment is free!  So shop till you drop!!!  Until next time auf wiedersehen.

Crispy Yama Gucci - This band finally got around to releasing their long out of print debut “Big Bird in Bed”.   Always loved the name of this band and their LP is no slouch either.  Check it out.

Happy Bunny Farm - Their classic LP “Statutory Rhymer” was just re-released and it’s a revelation!  Buy it!

Chad Masters - “Vasoline Alley” is not only Chad’s first solo album, but also the first solo project from a Figment band!  Chad took a brief sojourn from his job as bassist for metal band Pincher Nipple to do some time in the big house and this stripped down (no pun intended) accoustic disk is the result.  It’s an instant classic and continues in the double entendre tradition of his main gig with Pincher Nipple.  We loved how chilidog continued to build a back story for Pincher Nipple, while at the same time creating a great new solo artist in Chad Masters.  Great stuff – buy it!

Darkling – What can I say, the grand masters are back!  “Anal Trophallaxis” is the last album the band recorded with their original lineup and it’s a doozy!  Buy it!

The Daneweegians – Their debut album “Elsinore” begs but one question.  To buy or not to buy?  That should not be in question.  Buy it!

Well, that’s it for now!  See ya next week!

 Bear Vs. Woman - Great band name.  Great artwork.  Where’s the debut album?  We eagerly await it….

Pincher Nipple - Released a bonus EP, “Twisted Nipple”, containing songs that didn’t make the cut of their debut release “Between a Thumb and a Forefinger”.  A must for all Pincher Nipple fans.  C’mon people…get past the name and love this band!!

The BiPolar Express - if only for their band name!

 Support your favorite bands by becoming a fan, buying their album(s) and giving them a listen every week!!!  Until next week!

Dried Fruitopia - This band’s debut album, “I Dig Your Fig”, is anything but dry, unless of course your referring to their sense of humor.  Great album from a great fake band!  BUY IT!

The Academy of St. Roch of the Bulboes - This band’s debut album “Table Scraps” is an instant classic.  The first classical group to appear on Figment, we highly recommend The Academy!  Their band description is reason enough to become a fan.  BUY IT!!!

Dirty Sanchez and the Chili Dogs - This band has yet to put out an album, but we’re intrigued nonetheless.

Pincher Nipple - From the ridiculous name to the great band photo, this band has double entendre glory written all over it!  Check out their debut album “Between a Thumb and a Forefinger.”   These guys might just play the main stage at Rocklahoma this year!

Shadows of the Sea - They just released their second album “Alive No More” and it’s a winner.

Well, that’s it for last week.  Check em’ out!

i.am.bic pent.am.eter - Winners of the Figment Best Soundtrack ’08 Award, this band is poised for big things if their debut is any indication.  Their soundtrack to the docu-drama mini-series “The Professors of Hip and Hop” is the explosive device!  Buy it, listen to it, live it.

The Bi Accidents - This band picked up some extra lucre the other day by quickly recording a great EP, inspired by one of their favorite bands Pink Floyd, as an entry in our latest inspiration contest.  Check out their EP “Fly on You Crazy Piggy”. 

The Rude Awakening - What can I say, their debut album “All Hands on Deck” was indeed a rude awakening.  I’m awake to their presence now.  Are you?

My Wrists Spell LOVE - Great debut album from these emo optomists!  Check out “Album Titles Are For Mainstream Rockers”.

That’s it for last week!

Quarters for Laundry - This new band on UniversityWreckords is great.  Their debut album “Learning Through Osmosis” is Dean’s List material!

The Balding Engineers - Are back!  Their new album “Slower Shorter Softer Smarter” is every bit as good as their debut “Diode to Joy” and puts rumors of a sophomore slump to rest.

The Salad Forks - Prior to forming “Just Before Midnight”, lead singer and guitarist Shawn Hale led this 4-piece emo punk outfit.  Although the band broke up in 2006, their last album “Mohawks and Mascara” is now available on Figment!  For the name alone you owe it to yourself to buy this one!

Shop Teacher Tony - Great band name!  This too is an earlier band put together by Roger Beardsley, who now fronts Bag O’ Bones.

Well that’s it for last week.  We’ll do our best to get this week’s picks out sooner!

Darkling – This band seemed to burst from cyberspace fully formed and already has 2 albums that are flying up the charts.  The description of the band is one of the best on Figment.  Really well done.  Check out their albums “Traumatic Insemination” and my personal fave “Darkling” and then buy them!

Deadly Sons of Dublin - This is another master class in how to create a fake band.  Actually had to look them up to make sure they weren’t real.  Their two releases, the “Knockaround” EP and the follow up album “Kick In the Bollocks” have all the swagger of a real Irish punk band.  Buy them!

Just Before Midnight - Here’s another band I could have sworn was real when I first saw them pop up on the Recent Activity chart.  Their first album “Visions in the Dark” shows some promise, but I’m really dying to hear one of the former bands that one of their band members was in and that was mentioned in their band description – The Salad Forks.

Haven 4 Chaos - Good band name, strong debut album – “Sanctuary of Disarray”.

Chelicerae – It’s pronounced “kuh-LIS-uh-ree” according to the band, but who cares cuz they just created a great new entry in our Figment soundtrack contest, “Music Inspired by the Film Virtual Turbulence”, which has about 2 more weeks to go!

Didlee Dinkins - Great tag line…good psychobilly!

Sick Like Dog - I’m a big fan of this new band, but they need some artwork for the band and their first LP “Backordered.”  “Smells Like Unforgivable” indeed!

Well, that’s it for now.  Check out the new “Publish News” feature on your dashboards.  It let’s you create fake news for your band that pushishes right to your band page.  So let those press releases fly!

The Administration - A Washington DC musical troupe specializing in popular music. They prefer bold highly visible but largely ineffective performances. Sources close to the group indicate they are getting more powerful lately. There live shows are quite expensive, by invitation only, and very secure.  Check out their debut album “DisInfortainment”.

Fetalmania - Unfortunately this Black Metal outfit has yet to release an album, but if their debut is as good as their name then we’re in for a real treat.

Milky Pirates - Got Milk?  If not, check out their debut album “One Shot.”  After all milk does a body good…isn’t that what they say?

Slightly Metallic - This band was formed back in February, but seems to have been missed by most Figment users because they didn’t release their debut album until mid-March, so check out “Sacred Aluminum Vestibule of Darkness and Moisture.”

The Victims - This band claims they are a metal band, but their logo and album cover design scream DIY Punk.  Their debut album is “Buy This Album!”

Phsychotic Chick - Pay no attention to the misspelled name, this chick is the real deal.  I think she may be one of my ex-girlfriends.  Check out her debut album “Phsychotic Chick from Hell.”

Shadows of the Sea - Emo or Goth?  You be the judge.  Their debut album is “Black Tears.”

Tim and the Animals - Their debut album was a bit derivative, but their recent EP “Serenade of Violence” shows great promise.

xZYWEICx – Five piece death metal from the streets of Greenpoint, Bkln.  Part of the NWOPHM (new wave of polish heavy metal), Zyweic was founded on the concept of sextuple consonants and cheap ass lager.  I don’t know about you, but those are founding principles I can endorse!  Now if they’d only release a debut album!!!

So those are our picked to click selections for this week.  Check em’ out and support the fake bands you like by becoming a fan -

collecting their albums -

and giving them a listen!